The Power of Empathy in the Court of First Instance of Aruba

This week, I appeared in the Court of First Instance of Aruba for a divorce case. It was quite different from my usual work in corporate law and finance, but this experience was truly special. It felt like a breath of fresh air in the court’s often formal, rigid atmosphere.

It was a joint request for divorce, so I entered with both parties. The court warmly greeted us. Right from the start, the tone felt different. The judge was not only polite and professional but also genuinely caring. He took his time, speaking to the parties calmly and with deep empathy. It didn’t feel like a typical courtroom; instead, it was as if we were sitting under a tree, having a relaxed conversation. Nothing was rushed.

What moved me was how this judge interacted with the parties. Despite their situation – divorce is never easy – the ensured they felt heard. He reassured them, focusing on the strictly legal aspects and offering human and practical angle. Their daughter, who wasn’t present due to her age, was also discussed. The judge spoke about her with care and attention, as if he wanted to ensure a promising future for her.

Of course, I had my role in the proceedings, but it didn’t feel like a formal intervention. It was more like being part of a thoughtful conversation where everyone had a voice. When we finished, I noticed the parties leaving the courtroom with a sense of relief. Yes, their divorce – granted during the hearing – was still a reality, but how the process unfolded made a world of difference. They felt respected and understood.

This experience was a sharp contrast to other cases I’ve handled in my more than a quarter-century as a lawyer. Over the years, I’ve encountered judges who, as we say, “got out of bed on the wrong side.” The term “breakfast jurisprudence” doesn’t (after all) exist without reason. Unfortunately, rudeness, impatience, and a lack of empathy are things you sometimes encounter in court. While we all aim for a fair and respectful process, the pressures of the profession are occasionally visible in judges and lawyers. Not every session flows with the calm and consideration one might hope for. There are moments when a judge appears rushed or irritated, providing little room for the human side of the story adopting a distant tone. It’s not always intentional—external pressures or human factors could be behind it.

But this judge showed exactly how it should be done, with attention to the legal facts and the people behind the case. It reminded me once again how crucial the human side of our work is, both for lawyers and judges. Yes, we must follow the law, fulfill our duties, and play our roles, but we also work with people who often go through some of the most challenging moments of their lives. This session was a beautiful reminder of how to maintain that balance.

Moments like these are what I cherish, even after more than 26 years in the profession, not because of the legal intricacies but because of the warmth and humanity that were so present. And yes, justice was served in the end, but it was done in a way that left everyone walking out of the courtroom with peace of mind.Until next time! And don’t forget to visit www.lincolngomez.com for more stories and insights from my practice.